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to become 50 Shades of gray. Good luck with that. Do you understand what Passion is? Cuz " So I don't know, I guess I can say I was getting desperate " sounds just soooo romantic. And sexy search flirt he can read right through you. It seems the ONLY reason you married him is because YOUR biological clock was ticking and he was the means to the end. The one word you use to describe your husband is loyal. Like a faithful dog. You want to blame him for a low sex drive. You even wondered if he was. Just because he didn't initiate sex with you. So, I challenge your thought process. It isn't just him. Yes, it's you too. Look, lots of people complain about not getting sex. And THOSE people actually sound like they're IN. You have no real connection. You don't really understand who he is, let alone what he wants from being married. I say, quit thinking this is HIS problem and start looking at it that you BOTH could be the reason he isn't that sexual. Then go from there. You know what he wanted to change, wasnt me trying to change him, he admitted he had a problem a time ago, and wanted to change, yeah your right he is not changing, so with the last incident, I AM DONE, AS FRIENDS and everything. I am not saying he should take credit, I am not asking him for anything, I am just venting here to help me heal, and trust me I know I have done things that have hirt him also, but I made amends and was able forgive him, but he could never let go, and he wasnt even anything serious. I cleaned his shower and it was the wrong way, he held onto that for years and kept bringing it up. I am not perfect and know it .. Fay

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